The Scars of Life

Hi, I'm Tom. Like many ACHD patients that underwent heart surgery, I have several scars on my body as a result. To make a long story short, I was born with ventricular septal defect and a coarctation of the aorta.

I had open heart surgery VSD repair in 1976 when I was six years old that left me with the classic scar on my chest, along with a scar in my right groin where they hooked me up to the heart-lung bypass machine. Two years later, I had another operation to correct the coarc that left me with a scar around my left side.

Growing up, I rarely went swimming at public pools or beaches, and I didn’t take off my undershirt when I changed for gym class. I don’t recall being teased or anything like that, but I guess I was still self-conscious about my body. I didn’t know anyone else who had scars like me. My house had a backyard pool, and I was comfortable swimming with family and close friends. Occasionally someone who saw me bare chested for the first time would ask about my scars. Now that I think about it, it was probably more out of curiosity than anything else.

By my mid 20s I began to feel more comfortable about my body. I heard about different ways of looking at things. Things like body acceptance and positivity, being proud of your entire body from head to toe and everything in between. I became less concerned about what other people might think about my scarred body. Even in places such as locker rooms, I became comfortable with taking everything off without worrying about it. Since then, I don’t recall anyone outside of medical settings commenting on my scars unless I brought the topic up.

Fast forward to May 2019. I had an episode of ventricular tachycardia that turned into cardiac arrest. An angiogram and cardiac MRI revealed I had a severely dilated right ventricle due to a leaky pulmonary valve. Also, it was determined that scar tissue had built up inside my heart as a result of the VSD repair I had as a kid. Basically, the scar tissue was causing short circuits that put me at high risk for more episodes of V-tach. So I ended up with a defibrillator implanted. That left me with a small scar below my left shoulder, and a slightly visible bulge in the skin.

A few months later, I had a transcatheter pulmonary valve replacement. That left me with a little red line in my right groin where the valve was inserted. It completely faded away after a few months. Two weeks after the valve replacement, I received a couple of severe shocks from my device. That led to having an electrophysiology study to map out the trouble spots that were then zapped away with ablation during the same procedure. That was toward the end of January 2020.

I was a complicated case, but it all worked out—except for the pain in my right arm from the arterial line that was placed after I was induced. Just as pain in my arm went away after several post op follow-ups, COVID hit the world. I feel very lucky that I had the ablation when I did.

Anyway, I really do think becoming comfortable with my entire body has helped me deal with my heart problems. Several procedures have used catheters through the groin. As you may know, the femoral arteries and veins are often used as on-ramps to the heart for catheter-based procedures. When I go in for a cath or surgery, I know it’s standard procedure to take everything off and put on a gown. Then a nurse will shave my groin and any other areas to be worked on. I don't care about the gender of the nurse, but I know some patients might not be comfortable with that. The gown will be removed soon after I’m asleep on the table anyway. Then “patient prepped and draped in the usual manner” as listed in the procedure logs.

The fact is, if it wasn't for modern medical technology and all people who know how to use it and develop new techniques, I would not be alive today. Like many of us with various surgical scars, I consider them to be badges of honor. When I’m completely undressed and see myself in the mirror, I see the scars of life. So, in addition to all the frontline healthcare workers, I’d like to thank all the people behind the scenes such as the scientists, engineers, technicians, and everyone who works to save lives. Thank you!

Note: Tom was inspired to share this post after attending ACHA’s webinar, “Body Image in Adults with Congenital Heart Disease.” Click here to view the archived presentation.