“You do too much” is something I hear often, mostly from my mom—although I usually write it off as worry. Lately, however, I have begun questioning if there isn’t some truth to that. I feel as if the months have swept by at an unbelievable speed and each day is as busy as the next. I admit, I tend to take on a lot.
But I feel that I have been given a gift of time. Approaching 50 years when only expected to live a couple is one amazing gift, yet at times it feels overwhelming.
While there is so much I want to do, I grapple with my reasons. Is it that I really enjoy being a crazy busy person or is it that guilty feeling that creeps in when I am not doing something? That is where that gift of time comes in—if it is a gift then I can't waste it.
Don't I owe it to the hardworking people who made these extra years with this broken heart possible? Don't I owe it to use this time to the fullest when so many other fellow CHDers have not been so blessed to be physically able? And don't I owe it to myself to utilize every minute after all the blood (literally), sweat and tears that made me who I am today?
Ultimately, a gift is to be enjoyed, and even while feeling guilty for receiving it, I am truly blessed to have been given it. While I admit I should slow down at times, I do enjoy my crazy, busy life—whatever the reason. And, I think even my mom knows, I have no plans of slowing it down any time soon.
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