Why Worry? It Will Probably Never Happen

Last week I lost a dear friend, three short weeks after she received a frightening diagnosis. This beautiful, caring lady always showed concern about my daughter Lorie’s condition, offering a reassuring word. Her state of health was never a worry, so how could we know she would be the one taken so suddenly? Her untimely death reminded me of the uncertainty of the future and the futility of wasting our present moments worrying about what may or may not happen.

This unexpected loss drove home to me once again the truth of the affirmation I keep posted on my computer screen, “Why worry? It will probably never happen.” This can be tough to embrace but so very true. How often does a worrisome issue really come about? Life—being full of joys and disappointments—doesn’t always deliver our desired outcome, but anxiety and speculation won’t circumvent a fearful situation. Speaking from personal experience, stress and worry creates anxiety. This anxiety not only compromises our health, but can mask the miracles that blossom out of despair.

After spending Lorie’s entire life consumed with her congenital heart issues, her miraculous recovery after surviving a precarious transplant allowed me to finally breathe more easily and, along with the rest of her family, to embrace life with gratitude and optimism. How could we have known that two years later, almost to the day, a brain infection would turn out to be her new enemy? In a heartbeat life had turned in a direction none of us could have anticipated. This new stress increased my anxiety to a level that brought me to my knees and led me into therapy.

I did my best to raise Lorie in an atmosphere free of fear and worry. What I understand now is that those two enemies of our body and soul silently slither into our subconscious while we are busy caring for our loved ones. The process of exploring the source of my fears in both therapy and by studying the specialists who write on the hazards of negative and fearful thinking has increased my awareness that my anxiety has been quietly building for years. While busying myself with caring for Lorie during her pre- and post-transplant days, I was running fast enough to camouflage my true feelings with distraction and caregiving duties. Fear finally chased me down, and I was caught.

Nearly eight months in therapy and the shock of my friend’s sudden death has reinforced how useless worry is. It neither fixes nor changes anything. It’s not easy to let it go, but with help and determination I’m gradually learning to leave the future where it belongs, in the future, and embrace the present instead.

Life is going to be messy and frightening at times no matter how we think, but it is also happy and joyful when we’re willing to relax, let go and just be present in the moment. No matter what my daughter, her family and I have been through, I choose to look at the blessings rather than the fearful times. She survived the near impossible twice in the past two years and even though recovery from her brain surgery has been gradual and she is still plagued with some memory loss as well as limited recollection of those few months of her life, the old Lorie has come back to us. We have so much to be grateful for, and though I am still in anxiety recovery, I believe this too will pass and I’m determined to emerge stronger and wiser because of these trials.

Life is good when you choose to embrace the good and accept that although situations don’t always turn out as we wish, on reflection, it is usually even better than the script we prepared. Again, I share my mantra “Why worry? It will probably never happen” because it seldom does.

Today, as I discussed the subject of this blog with a friend, she agreed it was important food for thought and responded with the wisdom I’m borrowing to sum up this message.

“Worry only serves to block the miracles!”